


Ricardo Smith

by Snibbert



Category: Wild Kratts
Genre: Aviva is a cryptid, Group chat, Jimmy and Martin are memelords, No Plot/Plotless, No Tortuga, They don't live together, Weird inside jokes, and done with all of them, just dumb convos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-12 22:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21484225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snibbert/pseuds/Snibbert
Summary: A group chat between the Wild Kratts team.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 16





	1. Or Lardo?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Obsidian_Bandit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsidian_Bandit/gifts), [Trashcan_Sam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashcan_Sam/gifts), [DaydreamofDarkness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaydreamofDarkness/gifts), [Casterli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casterli/gifts).

> This was a conversation on a google doc between me and some friends that I switched (with their permission) into this beautiful Wild Kratts fic.
> 
> Aviva: therealturtle58  
Martin: blueberry12  
Chris: Greenie_Beanie  
Jimmy: Red_Falcon_Me  
Koki: koki_the_koala

**Red_Falcon_Me** _has added _**blueberry12**_,_** Greenie_Beanie**_,_** koki_the_koala**_,_ _and_ **therealturtle58** _to Wild Kratts_

**Red_Falcon_Me**

Here it is. Our baby.

**blueberry12**

wait, which one of us got pregnant? When did the birth happen?! I have many questions!?

**Greenie_Beanie**

Ricardo Smith was born on November 19, 2019. His mother, Jimmy Z, and his father, Martin Kratt, were happy to birth him into this world.

Kokis lurking

**blueberry12 **

Just speak dear, Koki

**Red_Falcon_Me**

yes you child

**koki_the_koala**

Yes, mother.

**Greenie_Beanie**

you have a new sibling.

**koki_the_koala**

EW NO WHY

**Red_Falcon_Me**

his name is Ricardo Smith and he’s the spawn of me.

And Martin

**koki_the_koala**

I saw. His name is now Lardo.

**Greenie_Beanie**

why though?

**blueberry12**

cuz RICARDO sounds like LARDO

**koki_the_koala**

except Lardo is also lard.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

YEAH. EXACTLY WHY HIS NAME IS RICARDO

**blueberry12**

Nah. We just ignore that.

**koki_the_koala**

I have to go

**koki_the_koala** _has left the chat_

**blueberry12**

sucker

oh wait. same

**Greenie_Beanie**

farewell

**blueberry12** _has left the chat_

**Red_Falcon_Me**

Aviva’s a cryptid.

**Greenie_Beanie**

what’s a cryptid?

**Red_Falcon_Me**

it means she barely ever shows up here and when she does she says something that is the best thing you’ve ever heard.

**Greenie_Beanie**

okay, that makes sense. I thought you meant she was just really cryptic all the time.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

...that too? 

**blueberry12** _ has entered the chat _

**Greenie_Beanie**

aaaand he’s back

**blueberry12**

JIMMY! 

**Red_Falcon_Me**

MARTIN!

I’m dead

**blueberry12**

What do y’all vote meme of the decade?

**Greenie_Beanie**

what. Is that.

**blueberry12**

since it’s almost 2020, what’s your favorite meme of the last 10 years?

**Greenie_Beanie**

can it be a vine?

**blueberry12**

Ye. If it was memeable.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

hmmmmm how about the dish soap one? Like, MIND YOUR BUSINESS DAVID

**Greenie_Beanie**

dunno that one.

**blueberry12**

yes you do. If you don’t I’m disappointed. In you.

**Greenie_Beanie**

You can be disappointed then. Maybe I do and just can’t remember it or something.

**koki_the_koala** _ has entered the chat _

**Red_Falcon_Me**

the: if Johnny has nine dish soaps- why does Johnny have so much soap? MIND YOUR BUSINESS DAVID one

**Greenie_Beanie**

don’t remember it

**blueberry12**

YOU.

ARE.

A.

DISAPPOINTMENT.

**koki_the_koala**

I am also deeply disappointed. How could you do this Chris?

**Red_Falcon_Me**

yeah, CHRIS

**therealturtle58 ** _ has entered the chat _

**Greenie_Beanie**

can you really blame me? Vines been dead for like 5 years now

**blueberry12**

I can still blame you.

Aviva’s being cReEpY

**Red_Falcon_Me**

THat sounds like a personal problem 

**Greenie_Beanie**

How is she being creepy?

**blueberry12**

she’s wAtChInG uS. Speak if you read this

**Red_Falcon_Me**

wait, it’s not a normal thing to watch people?

**koki_the_koala**

you’ve got some problems...

**therealturtle58 ** _ has left the chat _

**blueberry12**

she’s gone now. Oof.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

we scared her away. With memes. Vines, specifically.

**Greenie_Beanie**

or she had stuff to do?

**blueberry12**

Lame.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

I have stuff I need to do but I’m not gonna do it. Because I’m cOOl

**koki_the_koala**

I have stuff to do but I’m not gonna do it. Because PeEr PrEsSuRe.

**blueberry12**

PEER PRESSURE PEER PRESSURE PEER PRESSURE. 

**koki_the_koala**

I’m not going to smoke! You can’t make me!

**Red_Falcon_Me**

smoking is great. I take all the drugs. It’s great fun.

**koki_the_koala ** _ has left the chat_

**koki_the_koala** _has entered the chat_

**Greenie_Beanie**

we’re now ignoring you

**Red_Falcon_Me**

why tho? I feel bullied.

**blueberry12**

you better

**Greenie_Beanie**

I actually do have to do stuff, so bye. I know I’m lame, Martin.

**Greenie_Beanie** _has left the chat_

**blueberry12**

You is lame

**Greenie_Beanie ** _has entered the chat_

**Greenie_Beanie**

Koki is lurking now

**blueberry12**

Koki! Come out come out wherever you areee

**koki_the_koala ** _has left the chat_

**Red_Falcon_Me**

yeah KOKI.

She gone.

**blueberry12**

Dang. 

We real good at scaring people away huh?

**Red_Falcon_Me**

especially today. 

This is great.

**Greenie_Beanie**

Yup.

**blueberry12**

We gots to go now tho. 

BYYYYYEEEEE JIMMYYYYY! 

You’re supposed to say bye back.

**Greenie_Beanie** _has left the chat_

**Red_Falcon_Me**

lameeeeeeeeeeee. 

BYEEEEEE MARTINNNNNN!

**blueberry12**

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

**Red_Falcon_Me**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

  
**blueberry12** _has left the chat_


	2. Ricardo MILOSSS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ricardo MILOSSS is the current name of our Google Doc because we had a conversation about that the other day that I cut out. This is basically just us being mean to each other. My friends are idiots.
> 
> Aviva: therealturtle58  
Martin: blueberry12  
Chris: Greenie_Beanie  
Jimmy: Red_Falcon_Me  
Koki: koki_the_koala

**blueberry12**

aweemba way aweemba way aweemba way

**Greenie_Beanie**

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**koki_the_koala**

No. stop.

**Greenie_Beanie**

yes. Continue!

**koki_the_koala**

CHRIS

**blueberry12**

aWEEEEEEEEEEEeeeEEe weeummumba WAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY

**koki_the_koala**

YOU. 

ARE

NOT. 

PUMBA.

**Greenie_Beanie**

I am Timon.

**blueberry12**

I’m Melody, a 42 year old female that loves knitting, sewing, and playing Minecraft!

**Greenie_Beanie**

okay, weirdo.

**koki_the_koala**

I have to go, I’ll be back at 3:15.

**Greenie_Beanie**

I HAVE TO leave AT 3:15

**koki_the_koala ** _ has left the chat _

**blueberry12**

oof.

**Red_Falcon_Me ** _ has entered the chat _

**Red_Falcon_Me**

YO YO YOOOOO

**blueberry12**

WOAH WOAH WOOOOAAA

My dUdEs

**Red_Falcon_Me**

what’s been goin on while I was away? 

**koki_the_koala ** _ has entered the chat _

**koki_the_koala**

YOU CANNOT BANISH ME

**Red_Falcon_Me**

what

oh

I did tho

**blueberry12**

:)

**Greenie_Beanie**

oh screw. 

You.

**blueberry12**

Muhahahahhaaaaa!

**Greenie_Beanie**

YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME?!?

**blueberry12**

no.

I really don’t.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

haha SUCKER

if there’s a challenge I call front row seats.

**koki_the_koala**

I mean, I got back in, so…

AND I know how to get back in!

**Red_Falcon_Me**

wanna see about that? 

Let’s go.

**blueberry12**

Jimmy.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

Martin.

**blueberry12**

yeah KOKI

**koki_the_koala**

what did I do? 

What’s happening? 

I’ve been here pretty much the whole, timenn, and I’m still confused!

**blueberry12**

haHEE 

That’s what you GET

**Greenie_Beanie**

haHEE indeed.

**koki_the_koala**

why’d you kick me out? I fixed what I did wrong!

**Greenie_Beanie** _has left the chat_

**Red_Falcon_Me**

I know. You were annoying me

**koki_the_koala**

I hate you.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

meh. You’re not the only one.

**blueberry12**

I hate both of y’all. But Jimmy is my BEST FRIENDDDDD

**koki_the_koala**

YOU DON'T COUNT _ MARTIN _

**blueberry12**

oh

SCREW. 

YOU. 

KOKI.

**koki_the_koala**

No. 

SCREW _ YOU _

**blueberry12**

doesn’t look as cool.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

I see Koki likes italics.

**koki_the_koala**

yeah, and?

**blueberry12**

thats why you SUCK.

**koki_the_koala**

professional writers use italics, so while you all look like LOOSERS, _ I _ look _ professional. _

**blueberry12**

says the person who spelled “losers” wrong

**koki_the_koala**

you are one to ralk.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

what’s ralking?

**blueberry12**

says the person who misspelled the word talk.

**koki_the_koala**

good bye.

**koki_the_koala ** _ has left the chat _

**blueberry12**

YOU BEST LEAVE

YOU DONT BELONG HERE.

SCREW YOU.

**koki_the_koala ** _ has entered the chat _

**blueberry12**

Why are you here.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

why is koki here?

**blueberry12**

i dunno

**Red_Falcon_Me**

Rip.

**koki_the_koala ** _ has left the chat _

**Greenie_Beanie ** _ has entered the chat _

**blueberry12**

OOOOOOOO ITS CHRIS! COME PLAY WITH US!

**Red_Falcon_Me**

yeah Chris!!! 

We won’t kill you. 

Maybe.

**blueberry12**

oof

**Red_Falcon_Me**

ig we bein ghosted.

**blueberry**

he LURKIN

**Red_Falcon_Me**

ooooo

Get talkin Chris. This is an interrogation.

**blueberry12**

yeah, CHRIS

**Red_Falcon_Me**

CHRIS

**blueberry12**

oh ChRiS! cOmE pLaY wItH uS!

**Red_Falcon_Me**

oHoHoH CcHhRrIiSs!!

**blueberry12**

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooookay then

**Red_Falcon_Me**

Chris. We see you. tAlK wItH uS cHiLd.

**blueberry12**

we. Do.

**Greenie_Beanie**

hiya, I was reading all the other messages you made. 

It was an odd conversation.

**blueberry12**

SURE WAS AM I RIGHT?!!?

**Greenie_Beanie**

I just heard my boss call someone a VSCO girl. Kill me now.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

HUHHHH. That’s weird.

**blueberry12**

which one?

**koki_the_koala ** _ has entered the chat _

**Greenie_Beanie**

the one with the beard.

**blueberry12**

kill him then. I give you permission.

**Greenie_Beanie**

I really don’t want a criminal record.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

criminal record schriminal record. 

**blueberry12**

Jimmy already has one.

**Greenie_Beanie**

case in point. 

**Red_Falcon_Me**

dosent everyone have at least a few homicide cases?

**koki_the_koala**

I stole something in a dream once. 

A BAG OF CHERRY GUMMIES THAT WAS 27 DOLLARS.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

what a scam. Who wouldn’t have stolen those?

**koki_the_koala**

they tasted really good.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

see? It was worth it to steal them. 

**koki_the_koala**

I felt guilty though!

**Red_Falcon_Me**

you get used to it after you’ve killed a few children in front of their parents.

**koki_the_koala**

oh.

**koki_the_koala** _has left the chat_

**blueberry12**

SNAP

**Red_Falcon_Me**

ikr, I’m pretty cool.

**blueberry12**

no, no, not that. THEY HAD TO SEE YOUR FACE. That’s why I feel sorry for them.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

oh yeah. Good point. 

But I had a jigsaw mask on. They had no clue.

**blueberry12**

CHRIS. STOP LURKING. ITS CREEPY.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

COME ALIVE CHILD!

**blueberry12**

one two three four five COME ALIVE!

**Greenie_Beanie** _has left the chat_

**Red_Falcon_Me**

six seven eight nine… I dunno what rhymes.

**blueberry12**

uhhhh. Kay. 

I have to go know. BYE BEST FRIENDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!

**Red_Falcon_Me**

BYEEEEEEE!!

**blueberry12**

aWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! 

  
**blueberry12** _has left the chat_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wellllllll that was that. Really fun except for the parts when tHEY WOULDN'T STOP MESSING ME UP. I had to put them all on view mode to tell them to stop. That's what you GET CASTERLI.


	3. Tiffany is Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back to another chapter of stupidness. Woo!
> 
> Aviva: therealturtle58  
Martin: blueberry12  
Chris: Greenie_Beanie  
Jimmy: Red_Falcon_Me  
Koki: koki_the_koala
> 
> Have fun.

**therealturtle58**

Tiffany is here

**Red_Falcon_Me**

oh FRICK YOU SCARED ME.

OH MY GOSH YOU’RE BACK

YES

COME

**therealturtle58**

let me go get chris

**koki_the_koala ** _ has entered the chat _

**Red_Falcon_Me**

thanks. He blocked me

**koki_the_koala**

I’m not surprised.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

rude. 

Now all we’re missing is martin

**koki_the_koala**

Martin don’t be lurking now.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

he’s straight up not here

**koki_the_koala**

I know, it’s a joke.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

but like. 

Avvia’s alive. 

How.

**therealturtle58**

Avvia. I swear

**Red_Falcon_Me**

I am. SORRY 

i acnt speel clearly

**therealturtle58**

no wonder why chris hates you

**Red_Falcon_Me**

aaaaaand i regret letting you be here. 

So.

**koki_the_koala**

so.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

we’re missing them two peeps

**therealturtle58**

martin’s always on though

**koki_the_koala**

not always. 

But now its just the THREE AMIGOS WOOT. 

THE ORIGINALS

**Red_Falcon_Me**

THREE CABALLEROS THREE CABALLEROS WE ARE ALL BIRDS OF A FEATHER!!!

**therealturtle**

uhhhhhhhhh what does that even mean

**Red_Falcon_Me**

ITS from a Disney ride. Donald’s in it.

**koki_the_koala**

ewwww

**therealturtle58**

Ewww?

**koki_the_koala**

what? Did you get chris?

**therealturtle58**

I sent him an email

**Red_Falcon_Me**

im a whats the word… HELP ME OUT I’M FAILING

**koki_the_koala**

what’s a synonym of the word?

**Red_Falcon_Me**

creepy? Straight up the worst?

**koki_the_koala**

horrible? Horrifying? Stalker?

**Red_Falcon**

not the last one but like 

**therealturtle58**

a failure 

**blueberry12** _has entered the chat_

**Red_Falcon_Me**

im being attacked. OH MARTIN’S HERE YAAAASSSS QUEEN

**blueberry12**

YO YO YOOOOOOOOO

**Red_Falcon_Me**

okay. 

As i was saying. 

Do you wanna know why im all those words?

**koki_the_koala**

I do.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

okay its not that bad but likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 

**blueberry12**

But like?

**Red_Falcon_Me**

i dont know

**therealturtle**

Sounds like a personal problem.

**blueberry12**

no, it sounds LEGIT

**therealturtle12**

probably just cuz chris hates you

**Red_Falcon_Me**

i'm over chris. I'm done with him.

**blueberry12**

me too YOODLEMYDUDE. 

**Red_Falcon_Me**

AAAAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS

**blueberry12**

why you do this to me. 

I feel bullied

**Red_Falcon_Me**

mmmmmmmmm im da best CLEARLY

**blueberry12**

Said no one ever

**Red_Falcon_Me**

stop acting like chris. 

Its making me mad

**blueberry12**

That. 

Sounds. 

Like. 

A.

Personal. 

Problem.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

theres martin! Good. ol. Marti. NNNNNNNNN

**blueberry12**

Marti? Never heard of that person before.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

i think avivas trying to speak but we wont let her

**therealturtle58**

not rlly

**Red_Falcon_Me**

you know the cryptid thing? About you saying the best things ever?

**therealturtle58**

yes

**Red_Falcon_Me**

it was a lie. 

All of it.

**blueberry12**

Aviva just isn’t big brainz enough.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

i.

Am. 

PISSED RIGHT NOW.

**blueberry12**

ehemmmm.

That sounds like a personal problem. 

But why?

**Red_Falcon_Me**

bye-bye martin

**blueberry12**

Why tho?

**Red_Falcon_Me**

you made my ANGER WORSE

**blueberry12** _has been kicked from the chat_

**blueberry12 ** _ has been added to the chat _

**Red_Falcon_Me**

He can come back. 

One you of you tell him. 

Im not in the mood

**koki_the_koala**

I’ll email him. 

**blueberry12** _ has entered the chat _

**koki_the_koala**

Never mind.

**blueberry12**

WOWWWWWWWWW.. BULLYISM

**Red_Falcon_Me**

you sass me one more time and you will be removed permanently

**blueberry12**

that’s kinda like bullyism 

**Red_Falcon_Me**

martin. 

I dont need it.

**blueberry12**

why you pissed anyways

**Red_Falcon_Me**

I WANT TO KILL SOMEONE and i have no idea why so

**blueberry12**

how bout you kill chris?

**Red_Falcon_Me**

good idea! 

Koki? Do you have any advice?

**koki_the_koala**

for killing Chris or for feeling better?

**Red_Falcon_Me**

I. Am. going. To. kill. someone.

**koki_the_koala**

okay. 

Anyways, if you want him to die slowly, stab him with a dull knife and leave the knife in the wound, taking it out will make him die quicker. If you want a quick, painless death put a washcloth dosed with gasoline over his mouth. Sound good?

**Red_Falcon_Me**

uhhhhhhhh yeah?

**blueberry12**

if you want another method, you could burn him oc.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

my nose is squishy

**koki_the_koala**

I think that’s normal? Maybe?

**Red_Falcon_Me**

it keeps like moving the wrong way when i move it

**blueberry12**

wtf does that even mean

**Red_Falcon_Me**

you know the thingy in the middle that’s hard? It keeps going over that and making a popping sound

**blueberry12**

mmmmmm 

**Red_Falcon_Me**

actually. 

That thing is moveable oops

**koki_the_koala**

sounds pretty odd

**therealturtle58** _has left the chat_

**Red_Falcon_Me**

aviva just left

**blueberry12**

oh well. Not like she was talkin anyways

**Red_Falcon_Me**

oofies

Taylor Swift is helping me

**blueberry12**

scoodle? i hate this

**koki_the_koala**

put an extra t. 

Duh.

**blueberry12**

scoodle???

**koki_the_koala**

what?

**blueberry12**

scoodle?

**koki_the_koala**

what

**blueberry12**

huh?

do you guys want all my random thoughts?

**koki_the_koala**

yes!

**Red_Falcon_Me**

I don’t got a problem with it.

**blueberry12**

one sec

Squealing is just how my voice is. Don’t judge me.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

that’s weird?

**blueberry12**

Somebody that I used to know remix time, baby. Let’s. GO

**Red_Falcon_Me**

scoodle random lyric prank are you doing? Cuz you’re clearly copy pasting something

**blueberry12**

I just listened to the most southern song ever. Not country but SOUTHERN. Like, PURE SOUTHERN.

**koki_the_koala**

it’s from a google doc filled with random thoughts, isn’t it?

**blueberry12**

nope. 

I got Ross Lynch and Zac Efron mixed up even though the only thing that looked somewhat similar was their hairstyles in High School Musical and Teen Beach. Ross Lynch has not changed.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

it is Koki. Clearly.

**blueberry12**

We’re watching Shrek and I feel like the universe is making fun of me. It’s purposefully rubbing it in my face. I can FEEL it.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

but shrek is a god. Why would the universe make fun of you for watching the godly green beautiful man ogre himself?

**blueberry12**

Life is like a game of Monopoly.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

except we’re all broke.

**koki_the_koala**

Wait I have to go, bye!

**Red_Falcon_Me**

lameeeee cya.

**koki_the_koala ** _ has left the chat _

**blueberry12**

Babies skin is absorbent.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

that’s really weird. 

Plus. Isn’t all skin absorbent?

**blueberry12**

A milk that makes you rethink milk.

An orange that makes you rethink oranges.

A hippo that makes you rethink hippos.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

I don’t think I ever think milk, oranges, or hippos?

**blueberry12**

Moto Moto.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

ok then. 

Dead memes are always something.

**blueberry12**

I’m affecting the whole world with the way I talk.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

clearly. 

The whole world shall spend years upon years upon decades upon centuries trying to figure out wtf you mean.

**blueberry12**

A help of surprise. Me though.

**Red_Falcon_Me**

tf?

**blueberry12**

dO nOt LiCk My LiZaRd, My LiZaRd Is NoT fOr LiCkInG

**Red_Falcon_Me**

but scoodle if he likes being licked hm?

**blueberry12**

im done putting my thoughts out here. I gotta go. BYEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Red_Falcon_Me**

ByEeEeEeEeE bEsT fRiEnD!!!

  
**blueberry12 ** _ has left the chat _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy is always there, confirmed. I got mad like halfway through so I had to cut out a lot but this is still pretty long. Casterli didn't COME THOUGH WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM

**Author's Note:**

> This was fun to write so there will be more chapters. And keep in mind, this was an actual conversation with my friends. HOW DO YOU FORGET THAT VINE?!?


End file.
